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Saturday, November 17, 2007

Work, Work, WORK!

WORK!!! That's about all I'm doing now a'days. Oh, and driving around 1000 miles a week, and no I'm not exaggerating. Yes, I brought this on myself. This past summer, expanding our little business sounded much more exciting than it feels right now. Isn't that always the case? Anyway, so far so good, for the most part. Sometimes I feel all eyes on me watching to see if I'm gonna actually pull it off or land flat on my face. My good friend, since 3rd grade, said I'm just to stubborn for defeat. She's probably right.

Last night, Little Girl asked if she could watch the movie, Shrek the Turd (Third). She had all of us rolling out of our chairs. Paw Paw turned 61 yesterday. I called mom and asked what we should get for his Birthday. She said flannel shorts. I said you mean Underwear! Are you kidding me? Hubby ran with the suggestion and frequented one of those "adult stores" picking up a leopard print thong. The only thing better than Paw Paw's face was Grandma's when he opened the present. Now that was priceless. We told the kids, Paw Paw got a sling shot, I'm not sure they bought it.

Little Man just came home from Cub Scouts. They had their annual Rocket Derby. He and Daddy have been getting ready for it over the last couple of days. They won the first two races and then lost the third which put them in the losers bracket. They fought back through the bottom bracket to race the Den Leader's son for the championship. Little Man ended up walking away with 2nd place! Evidently, the last race was just neck in neck. Hubby's already planning for next year's rocket design, Little Man is just soaking in the moment of victory.
They're just too cute.

Well, I guess I'd better get back to work, Work, and More WORK!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Picture Day Should Be BAN!!!!

Okay, if I was on the ball, I would have watched the forecast last night and picked out picture appropriate clothes. My philosophy, why do now, when you can put off until tomorrow. So this morning after much thought, I finally pick an outfit for Baby Girl and race to brother's room, tell him "Up and Adam" and without as much thought find an outfit for him. (Boys are easier) Head back for the kitchen, grab two bowls of cereal, and as an afterthought, turn on the tube to check out the forecast. My kids are dressed for mid-80's, that's what it's been for the last few weeks. Everyone has pretty much given up on Fall. Wouldn't ya know it, Fall arrives today.

The kids are fighting their usual morning fight of who's looking at who as I head back for their bedrooms to painfully try to find another outfit. After deciding on outfits Number 2, I run back to the kitchen as they are finishing up, point them in the direction of their rooms to change, and start making lunch. Where's hubby, you might ask. He's at the computer, I guess checking email. He might as well been on the couch eating bonn bonns. Hello, Didn't HE get the memo, It's PICTURE DAY! Also, he boycotts making lunches, he's says that's the school cafeteria's job.

Brother starts yelling from his room, "I don't like this shirt." I'm yelling back, "WEAR IT!" Halfway through making their lunch, Baby Girl needs help dressing. I give her a crash course in Pants 101, how to button her new pants. She can't do it, so I throw a belt on her to hold up her pants that I've loosened so she can pull them down without worrying with the button. My Girls Sagg'in but she won't have to ask for help from her teacher.

Brother is still complaining about the shirt I've chosen, Dad shows up and squashes the rebellion. Baby Girl and I race for the bathroom, I throw hot rollers in her hair. The more she protests, the rougher I am on her head. Pretty much takes care of her complaints. I instruct her to brush her teeth, Daddy has Little Man ready, complete with teeth brushed and hair fixed. I finish their lunches, pull the rollers from Baby Girl's head, cram socks and shoes on her feet, and shove them out the door, only a few minutes late for school.

As I watch them running down the sidewalk for school, Little Man's hair is sticking up in the wind, Baby Girl's cowlick is being more stubborn than usual, as I'm smiling and waving at them I decide Picture Day, It's too much work, way too stressful, and should be ban!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Crazy Kids

Today, I took Little Man to lunch. In the car on the way to grab pizza, he says, "Mom, I can stick my tongue up my nose. . . well almost. . . want to see?" (so gross)

Tonight, I told Baby Girl to go get ready for a bath. As I opened the bathroom door, I find her standing in front of the mirror totally naked, beating on her chest, doing a pretty convincing impression of Tarzan.

Do your kids do this?

Sunday, October 07, 2007

What Will He Say Next?

Friday, I picked the kids up from school early for our hometown's homecoming parade. As we loaded in the car to race off for the parade (as usual, I was running late), Brother said, "Mom, a friend from my class was sent home today. He's really sick! He has a temperature of 130. He's probably got DeMonia (Pneumonia). " sounds pretty bad, huh. . .

Earlier this week, we were eating dinner when he looked up, smiled, and said to me . . .
"Good cookin, good lookin"

When he's not driving me crazy, he's cracking me up.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Ruby's Faith

Nothing significant has happened. Not any cute funny stories I can tell about the kids. I'm just in a blah mood and thought maybe blogging it out might help . . .

The business is going well, I guess. Our new year recently started and I can't help but worry.Will they like me this year, will they choose me? The past four years, they've liked me. The past two years with our own company, they've chose me. But you can't help but wonder what tomorrow will bring. We've expanded out of state, trying to duplicate there what we've accomplished here. I've been on the road quite a bit over the past month, summer already seems like a far away memory. I know that I should do all I can do, run as hard and as fast as possible and then at the end of the day leave the rest in God's hands. I'm working on that part.

I have two healthy, happy, beautiful kids. Little Man is finding his groove, back in the swing of school. Last week, he brought home a 110% on his Spelling Test. His teacher says that he's doing great and has really matured over the past year. Baby Girl is approaching school as a dream that's finally come true. She bounces out of bed, excitedly goes through morning rituals and skips out the door happily waving and blowing kisses all the way down the sidewalk. You know, I couldn't be happier with the school they're attending. Don't get me wrong, there are winds and dips in the road, but nothing that we can't get through for now.
Sound pretty confident. Worry Free. Right. Wrong!
I'm fairly confident for now, so I'll waste time worrying about tomorrow. (that makes sense, huh) Right now, they're attending this quaint, little country school located basically in our backyard but what about when they have to leave and go to the Jr. High and even worse on to High School. The "What Ifs" is enough to drive anyone crazy. At times I've decided, they will be home schooled after 6th grade. Solved that problem in just the nick of time, you know Little Man will be there in just 4 short years. At that point, I won't be worried about their security, only my sanity.

Spending so much time on the road, I've been listening to my christian music and recently a sermon from my former pastor. At the end of his sermon "Who's watching my stuff", he's talks about trust issues (I definitely have some of those). He gives the microphone to someone named Ruby to sing, "His Eye is on the Sparrow, So I know He watches Me." She sung it almost with complete abandonment with so much energy, passion, emotion. In fact, the first time my son heard it, he said, "She's crazy!" After the song, she gives her testimony. I about have it memorized, I've played it so much. Ruby starts off by saying, "Seven years ago, I was diagnosed with lung cancer." She had multiple tumors removed from her wind pipe which left her with 3 tumors in one lung and 4 in the other. The doctor said she needed chemo and radiation treatments immediately. She replied, "Save it for someone without faith, because my God is able." She got down to 89 pounds and they gave her three months to live, that was 7 years ago. This past week, she went back for a routine check-up with X-Rays,Pulmonary Tests and such. He asked her if she ever had Chicken Pox. She replied yes. He went on and said "Chicken Pox came, and did all the damage it could do, and then it left." He told her that if someone asked if she ever had Chicken Pox, she'd probably reply yes, and point to a scar left by Chicken Pox. And so the doctor concluded his analogy, " Ruby, the cancer came, did all the damage it could do, but now I don't need to see you anymore." The band breaks out into music, the church starts whooping and hollering, as you hear Ruby yell at the top of her Cancer Free lungs, "CAN'T NOBODY, DO ME LIKE JESUS!!!!"

So my prayer, each time I play that CD or think about her testimony is God Give Me Faith, That Unmoving Kind of Faith, Like Ruby. God help me develop trust in you that no matter what, Everything is gonna be alright! (just like the song I grew up singing in church)
And God, Bless Ruby as her testimony has Blessed me.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Kick'in @#$#

Last night, hubby and I and his mom and dad were on the patio enjoying each other and the evening. Little Man barged through the back door yelling, "Sister said a cuss word!" She slowly peeked her head out the door. I called her over by me and asked, "What happened?" All teary eyed, sweet and innocent she asked, "Am I in trouble?" I told her just to tell us the story. She started by explaining they were play fighting as she lifted her Pirates of the Caribbean Sword. After a long period, she proceeded. . . "And I said to brother" . . . . more silence . . .


"I'm gonna kick your ass!"

Okay, it was our turn to take that long pause and try to hide smiles and suffocate any laughter. As we let it soak in that our 4 year old just said she's gonna kick @#$!

Gathering composure, hubby and I asked her where she heard it. She couldn't remember. We continued explaining, something to the effect of, there's words you'll hear at school but you can't repeat, they're ugly, bad words, blah, blah, blah. A couple of times I looked over at Paw Paw who was moments from falling out of his seat in a fit of laughter.

We dismissed her back inside to play. I walked inside to grab something. The TV was on the show "Jericho" with the volume turned up for Great Grandma. When through the speakers loud and proud came, "I'll kick your @#$@!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Last Night

Don't you hate it when a significant moment passes you by where you could have, but you didn't. I had one of those last night. I seem to be better on the afterthought, rather than on the spot.

I was visiting my former pastor last night and attended one of his bible studies. It was a great message on being a witness and at the end he opened it up to questions. The questions evolved around how to approach people and such. One of the "set-up" questions was how do you witness to someone of a different race. I happened to be the only one of different race in the building so he brought the microphone to me to answer. My answer was simply something to the tune of there's no difference, people are just people. You witness to them the same. True enough, but there definitely was no depth behind my answer. Looking back, I should have given this answer, my testimony if you will.

When I was 18 years old, lost in Jackson trying to find a Carmen concert, I ran across a tent revival. The beat of the music had me and before I knew it I was standing at the back of the tent. Everyone was getting happy enjoying God, shouting and dancing all over the place. After a few seconds, a lady (I can't even remember who) walked up to me and said, "You need to go the alter." She could have told me anything. She could have stated the obvious, this chick is lost and pointed me on down the road. But she didn't. She looked past my white skin, saw my need, and led me to the alter.

You can find a million and one reasons why not to be a witness that stretch from the color of skin to financial standing, to whatever. It's all about getting out of your comfort zone, that's hard for anyone. Thank God, that nothing stopped that lady from witnessing to me.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Supermom for a Day

I cleaned out my desk in attempts to prepare for the new, get rid of the old, when I came across this blog. I must have scribbled it on a notepad last November but never typed it into my blog. It's not every day that you feel like a Supermom so for the moments you pull it off, it must be remembered!


I haven't felt great all day long, in fact I feel pretty lousy. While fighting a miserable cold, I've somehow made it to the end of this day. (not accomplishing much) I run to Walmart and pick up a rotisserie chicken....mmmmm..... call hubby to make sure we don't need anything else, pick up a coloring book for Baby Girl, the ET movie for Little Man, and drive home to officially call it a day. Daddy and Little Man race out the door for Cub Scouts, dinner has to wait. Baby Girl and I cuddle on the couch and watch TV. The boys make it home about the time I slap dinner on the table. Everyone's happily eating and discussing the events of the day. In the middle of dinner, Little Man springs on me, "Hey mom, you're suppose to make a pie for school tomorrow." That vaguely sounds familiar, I'm sure I read something about that last week, I guess? So, I drop everything and run back to Walmart. Little Man wants Lemon Pie so I race through the store grabbing the necessary ingredients per his request and for good measure, those for Peanut Butter Pie too. As I bolt back home, bags in tow, hubby smugly informs me that Walmart sells pies. "Please... A pie from Walmart...I've got an image to uphold." As I'm hunting for the mixing spoons he adds, "I don't use them either, but I know where they are," and points to a drawer. He's such a smart @#$ ! Finally, after 10:00, Wha La. . . I'm done. My son will take not 1 but 2 incredibly delicious, homemade pies to school tomorrow. Baby Girl, the official pie tester, gives her stamp of approval as she licks the spoons and mixing bowls clean. (cheers from the crowd) And so today, I bestow on myself the highest of honors and declare myself Supermom for this day, Monday, November 20th, 2006. I would like to give special thanks to my mom and best friend for the recipes and moral phone support. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you very much!

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Happy Birthday Mom!

Aren't homemade cards the best? The kids made two of the sweetest. They'd give Hallmark a run for their money.

To Mom
From Little Man

Mom is like a rose.
You look Buteful.
You are The Best Mom.
and I love you.
and now I'm selabrating
your Brthday

To Mom
From Baby Girl with help from Little Man

I love mom.
your as Buteful as a rose.
your eyes are Buteful

Happy Brthday!

Friday, August 17, 2007

This Crazy Week!

I've had so many bloggable moments in the past week, but who has the time? With or Without time, I've got to feed my addiction. I'll try to be brief....

Earlier this week I was out of town on business. I desperately wanted to drive home but even a cup from Starbucks was not helping. You know, mind willing but eyes slapping shut. I pulled over at a recognizable hotel and went to check in. No Vacancy. Okay, don't panic, there were at least a half a dozen runner's up off this exit alone. I asked the clerk which she would recommend and she informed me that the rest were also sold out. Are you kidding me? It's not a holiday or even a weekend. She gave me the name of another hotel to try a little further up the road. It's funny, I was pretty tired when I decided to stop, but let someone tell you no room available and then you become like the walking dead. I found the other hotel, and wearily walked into the lobby. I, nervously, asked the clerk for a room. He had one room available. Thank God. He started entering info into his computer as I slowly began to relax. Then he says, the computer shows it's not available. Okay, I decided to accept defeat and get back in the car without making a scene. Then, he suddenly assumed the role of father preaching to his daughter about being a responsible driver and the evils of the road. Long story short, he gave me their Honeymoon Suite for the cost of a regular room. How cool is that!?! I was exhausted but mustered up the energy to take a dip in the 2 person jacuzzi in the middle of the suite. While relaxing, I called hubby to gloat. Wouldn't you know it, my first time in a honeymoon suite and I'm by myself. I enjoyed it just the same and made it back home safe and sound the next day.

Little Man and Baby Girl started school on Thursday. That morning, I bounced out of bed, made bacon and eggs, and gently woke my two little Einstein's. I dressed them in my favorite outfits and then went to work on their hair as daddy rolled his eyes. I muttered something about first impressions and then gave up on explaining and decided my best approach is to flat out ignore. We tied new tennis shoes, grabbed new backpacks, and happily marched out the door. After I dropped each off at their classroom, I hovered in the hallway for a good half hour. Definitely mixed feelings, after a long summer spent each day with the kids, I need a break but when it comes down to it, it's always hard for me to let go. And you know, it's harder this year b/c, I walked home without Baby Girl. Thank Heavens, my children adjust better than I. As we approached the doorway of Baby Girl's classroom, she marched boldly into the unknown without so much as a look back. Again, that confidence shining through with every step she took. As I walked toward her classroom to meet her for lunch, the teacher assistant told me how sweet and well mannered she is. Today, when I went to meet her again for lunch that same assistant told me, "Your daughter's' quite the perfectionist." I said yes she is and thought you ought to meet her dad. Little Man has the same teacher as the year before last. She's wonderful in so many ways but best of all she understands and loves my oldest. I know she has taken him under her wing and will treat him like a son all year long. Oh, don't get me wrong, he'll drive her crazy just as he does me, but no matter what, he's in her heart. Little Man says, "Second grade will be the best year of his whole life." His reasons are; #1. She said, He is one of her favorite students ever! #2. He doesn't have to wait until show-and-tell but can bring his favorite toy to class anytime he wants. (this includes Skylar the dog) #3. He can chew gum in her class. And last but not least, #4. She is simply the "best teacher in the universe." What a great start, huh. . .

Oh, one final insignificant detail. . .

I turn 36 tomorrow, ugh.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Turn the Radio On

I've spent the better part of this day doing the normal stuff with the radio on. I thought a little boot scoot'in country music might help lighten the mood or else the kids and I just might not make it through this day. One of the 1st songs played moved us towards a happier place, "Beer in Mexico" by Kenny Chesney. The kids immediately shout, "Hey Mom, It's one of your favorites." We jump up, turn it up, and proceed to bounce around the office singing each line louder than the last. Should I worry that my 4 year old knows every word to that beer drinking song? Naaaah . . . At an early age I could sing most of the lines to such classics as "Take This Job and Shove It," "Family Tradition" and "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw."

Anyway, after a few songs, my reliable radio station started a "Care for Kids" radio-thon to raise money for a local hospital. The one where Baby Girl was born. I probably should have immediately switched stations but as hubby says, "I'm a bleeding heart." Now, between the heart-wrenching stories from kids going through chemo, parents left helplessly watching their babies in ICU, and the nurses and doctors talking about their jobs and how any donation would help, I've been in tears all morning and most of the afternoon.

Now, here I am, plowing through my normal day to day wondering is there anything the kids won't fight over, can life get any more stressful, and then BAM. . . you're knocked down with stories from those facing the inconceivable. Those precious little ones, my own kids age, fighting for their lives. Talk about putting life into perspective.

I just turned on the TV and a interstate bridge collapsed in Minneapolis during rush hour traffic. At this point, they're saying more than 50 vehicles went into the Mississippi River.

Tonight, I'm giving thanks to God for my family's health, safety, and well. . . in a nut shell. . . our crazy life. God, pour out your love and strength to those families facing the unimaginable tonight.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Perfect Little Angels

At the last minute, we decided to take the kids to the wedding. Reluctantly, I called my mom and let her know that we didn't need her to watch the kids. In the car with the other groomsmen, groom, and his son, we began the two hour trek to the little town for the ceremony. Pushing time, hubby drove a little faster than I liked but we made it in one piece with not a minute to spare. In the park's bathroom, I slipped into my wedding attire, dressed little girl, and sprayed everyone down with bug spray. (the mosquitoes were awful)

Taking full advantage of me loading everything back in the car, the kids ran off. Knowing that I or hubby needed to put the fear of God in them and explain proper wedding procedures, they ducked out of sight. Before I knew it, the bride and other bridesmaids arrived and pictures commenced. I was unable to snag a minute in between the photo shoot and the ceremony to talk to the kids. With a deep breath and a silent prayer, the ceremony began. (hopefully hubby talked to them.)

Standing front and center in my designated place, I was in perfect eye sight of my kids. They looked either in total awe or totally drugged. (I don't remember packing the Benedryl) Little Man looked such like a little man in his golf shirt and khaki shorts. Watching the wedding with such interest, caught up in the moment, he looked every bit as handsome as I ever remember. I think he's the only one in the family that can pull off green, he truly made me proud. Little girl sat, big eyed, watching her first wedding in amazement. She looked so beautiful in her dress, the turquoise made her eyes shine as bright as diamonds. She does however need some instruction on how to sit in a dress. Halfway through the ceremony, she was sitting proudly spread eagle, panties flashing the wedding party.

But I want to tell you, they were nothing short of perfect little angels, my kids. I did not have to give one look, they just sat there all reverently and respectful. With the flower girls and ring bearer, they became a little frisky during the reception. Little Man made it onto the wedding video not once, but twice. First, he was caught with his hand up his shirt once again making fart noises during the reception. And then, he snagged a moment at the very end of the video as the bride and groom are driving away, you can hear him in the background,

"HEY, MOM! SISTER'S IN THE BATHROOM! SHE POOPED!"

The video faded to black and that was, what I consider, the perfect ending.
(I hope they don't edit it out, it was a classic.)

The Dress

Two of our closest friends were married this past weekend. The ceremony took place in an exquisite garden surrounded by flowers. They made a beautiful couple, a true picture of happiness. The ceremony from start to finish brought tears to the most stubborn of eyes and the reception was a perfect end to a perfect day.

The weeks leading up to the big day were not so beautiful for me. Okay, the bride, a close friend of mine, asked me to be a bridesmaid. My first emotion was excitement, my second was moved that she would even think of me. She's marrying one of my husband's best friends, someone I have become very close to as well. My answer was of course I would love to stand with you on your day. Husband was asked to be the Best Man, life is good and perfect.

And then, I receive a call from the bride-to-be asking me to run to the nearest bridal shop and try on a dress. It wasn't a problem at all b/c I was just right down the road at a bookstore. Leaving hubby, kids, plus one more in the car, I quickly run into the store, and try on the requested bridesmaid dress. Now, this isn't my first rodeo. I've been a bridesmaid at least four times over but when I tried on this dress, I could not believe my eyes. I looked like the good year blimp. I knew I had gained some weight over the past year, but until that very moment, I hadn't a clue of how much. And you know, I could get over a number, I mean, a number is just a number. But the way I looked in the dress was totally shocking.

Unfortunately, truth be known, I did not have one nice thing to say about the wedding from that point on and vowed on a daily basis, that I would never be a bridesmaid ever, ever, ever again.... so help me God!

I called the bride, gritting through my teeth, revealed my dress size, and stumbled back to the truck. With kids yelling from the backseat, hubby asks how did it go? I, still in a state of shock, mumble halfheartedly, "okay."

For the next three weeks leading up to the wedding, I drifted between rational and irrational. Rationally, I began exercising and watching what I was eating. I lost 4 pounds pretty fast. Redemption was quickly crushed when the bride-to-be brought me The Dress. It was not the same dress I had tried on earlier. It was a more formal dress. A strapless, form fitting dress. A dress that on me, would not zip up the back. I mean, it would not even come close.

Okay, don't panic, I'll just call the bridal shop and get the right size, a double digit size, ugh. They don't have that size in stock and it would take 4 to 6 weeks to get one in, the wedding's in 2 weeks.

Irrationally, I buy some pills promising to work miracles. With my heart racing, I felt like I was wrapped tighter than a sardine, but I did lose 2 more pounds. We then had our annual 4th of July Bash and directly following, we had company. For five days, I ate good and gained back the weight I lost. Okay, with 4 days before the wedding, the dress is not going to zip. I fast three days, buy a girdle, and somehow zip the dress for the wedding.

I convinced myself that I had pulled off the impossible and all with some style, grace, and beauty. But then I saw the video. It proved the inevitable, I looked nothing short of the good year blimp.

The newlyweds are making their way to Jamaica, while I'm sitting here on the computer drinking a diet Sunkist, eating baked triscuits and some Famous Amos chocolate chip cookies. The dress is in the trash can.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Pool Talk

Baby Girl was in the pool talking with a new found friend. (Yes, we are swimming . . . finally) Baby Girl smiles and says matter-of-factly, "You know, everyone in town says I'm beautiful." I immediately give her a look and she snaps back, "I just thought she should know!"

(smile) conceited or not, I wouldn't change a thing.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Beautiful Eyes

This morning, like most, Baby Girl and I were side by side in front of the bathroom mirror putting on make-up. As I'm scrutinizing my face trying to cover wrinkles, dark circles, and such,
she's humming happily while the make-up sponge dabs her nose, the blush brush tickles her cheeks, and the white eyeshadow decorates her eyelids and occasionally her forehead. While this is a total job for me, it's nothing short of fun for her. As she approaches perfection, she grabs the hand-held mirror for a closer look. While studying herself in the mirror, she smiles and says, "Oh, Such Pretty Eyes!" On the other hand, I've surrendered to the fact, it's as good as it's gonna get for the day, I start putting the make-up away. She grabs that same mirror and insists I take a look. To appease her, I bend down to look as she catches my eye in the mirror and says, " Oh Mama, such beautiful eyes!" I know there's a fine line between confident and conceited, but what I'd give if she could continue to see beauty in herself and others each day for the rest of her life.

On the whole, our gender spends too much time agonizing over our looks. Growing up, I remember every time my mom would pass by a mirror, she would pause, grab at her stomach to see how much she could pinch at that moment. The weight she was and still is concerned about has never exceeded 5 to 10 pounds. I'm just as guilty, obsessed with diets, exercise, and such. I've even began recording my weight each day on the mirror in our bathroom, how crazy is that? Men don't do this, Why do we? (sigh)

Saturday, June 23, 2007

The Conversation

Today, I was at a friend's house. The conversation turned to cooking, cleaning, child rearing and such. Suddenly, I felt like I was in the hot seat. They were teasing me about how much hubby does around the house compared to me. As far as teasing goes, I'm quick to dish it out so I ought to be able to take it, wouldn't ya think. But today, the comments really bothered me. Now, I'm trying to figure out exactly why. Maybe they hit the nail on the head because at the moment they asked how I contribute to the above duties, I fell silent and brain dead.

Tonight, while sitting on the front porch with hubby, feeling totally exhausted like the night before, and a little disgusted thinking about the earlier conversation, my perceptive husband asks what's wrong. While knowing that this is a road not worth going down, I began telling him about the conversation. Although not using these precise words, I expressed how inadequate I felt as wife and mother and maybe I'm falling short of my duties thereof. He basically sat there in silence and then said something about the grass in our yard. Now this should not bother me, I mean, hubby's personality lends more to a suck it up attitude then one who gives or receives pity parties. Besides, the conversation turning to the lawn makes sense, I mean, he spends alot of time working in the yard. I'm not meaning to complain, his actions speak louder than any words he could say to me, but tonight, the sudden change of topic only added to my frustration.

So, while giving baby girl a bath still feeling totally exhausted, I began asking myself, why are you so tired tonight as well as most other nights. I mean, if I'm a total sluff, shouldn't I have more energy at the end of the day.? And, why don't I have more of a social life? Why am I not taking advantage of Dr. Phil and Oprah in the afternoons? Why am I constantly surrounded by kids? And, Where's the freakin couch and bon bons?

So let's explore, how am I spending my time? Although, I'm not usually cooking the traditional 3 square meals a day, the kids still have to eat. It might be mac-n-cheese, sandwiches, and/or chicken noodle soup. I realize this might not be as healthy and/or require significant time at the stove, but it does take up time never the less, especially when you have to do it at least 3 to 4 times a day. And let me add, on days that I do invest time in cooking a "good meal," the kids don't typically eat much. But I guess that falls into me sluffing off on the child rearing part, obviously if I raised well mannered, obedient children, they not only would eat what I fixed but would be oh, so grateful. Concerned about my children's education and feeling the need to keep their skills as well as mine sharp throughout out the summer, I'm tutoring my kids 2 hours a day, 3 to 4 times a week. Also, I do have them participating in the summer reading program at the local library. This definitely is taking up too much time and cramping my life as a slacker.

Truth be known and thank God for it, I receive alot of help from grandparents and friends. Believe me, I solicit this help. I know it's not for everyone, but I buy into the idea, "It takes a village to raise a kid." And I like to think I reciprocate the help. I, 100%, need and appreciate all the help I receive, so I'm quick to give it back in one way, shape or form. So with this said, sometimes during the week you'll find me without kids, but the rest of the time mine are in tow along with a handful of others.

Where is my time going, you ask? Tonight being the perfect example, I'm in the office on the computer and hubby is in the living room reading a book. Who do you think the kids are coming to every few minutes needing this and that, yes that would be me. And last night, when little man had a bad dream, who did he wake up, you guessed it me. And tonight, when baby girl is ready for bed, who will she try to talk into laying down with her, me again.

And so lets wrap it up, hubby does alot of the household duties, the majority of them truth be known. But I'm not on the couch eating bon bons but instead I'm busy around the house same as he. The difference is the work he's doing around the house, he's doing without kids under his feet because they are too busy under mine. So, he obviously would move faster and with more energy than I from chore to chore. Also, things I consider more important are not the same as him and vice versa. For example, he's not compelled to provide comfort at 4 in the morning when one's had a bad dream, but if there's a water ring on the counter, it's got to be cleaned immediately. He doesn't feel the urgency to stop daily tasks to feed hungry children, but if our vehicles are dirty, he stops, drops, and washes it. (and running them through the automatic car wash does not constitute clean, they are detailed) He doesn't spend time with them reading and/or tutoring during the week but he does vacuum. I reap the benefits of all the work he does with having the best kept yard, car, and house on the block, but he also benefits from the work I do with the kids.

I tried the whole stay-at-home mom thing complete with cooking, cleaning, and child rearing. It didn't quite work for me. I'm sometimes jealous of those it does work for but if it's not me, it's not me. Hubby's daily grind includes the yard, house, and vehicles with a little assistance from me. Mine is primarily the kids with a little assistance from him. It's what works for us.

Okay, this little pep talk has made me feel better. While I thought my friends had shed light on my inadequacies as mother and wife, truth be told I'm a damn good mother and wife ....

I must just be PMS'ing.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

This and That

Right before summer break, Little Man was sentenced to litter patrol on the school playground. His crime was entertaining his classmates by making fart noises with his armpit. I don't know where he learned it. . . could it be hereditary? When I was around his age, I would entertain friends and family by singing Jingle Bells while keeping the beat with my armpit. I was bound and determine to win the Miss Tennessee pageant with my talent.

Baby Girl has developed quite a vocabulary to go with her attitude. She says, "Whatever" more times than I would like and has perfect timing with a sarcastic "Hello!" When arguing with her brother, she nags. . "Boys drool, Girls ....., MOM, WHAT TO GIRLS DO?" She can't remember the ending for anything.

I've had quite a week. I began tutoring my kids plus one (Little Man's Best Friend). I started a diet and actually stuck to it for once. Today, makes 7 days and I'm proud to say I'm 4 pounds lighter.

The first payment on our pool is due next week, will we be swimming? Nope.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Hole in the Backyard

There's a hole in the backyard where the money goes. The pool is not only taking more time to install but also costing more money, go figure. We were suppose to be swimming this Memorial Day Weekend. It's not gonna happen. We'll be lucky to be swimming by the end of June.

On a lighter note, Little man and Daddy were out of the house this weekend. They went camping with 100 cub scouts. They had a great time with archery, target shooting, tye dye activities, and water balloon fights. They had a gigantic water slide and Jupiter Jump. They grilled out burgers and hot dogs then finished up with smores. Mama took a friend's advice and went to Wal mart, grabbed a few good books, and hung out in the tub most of the evening with the book and cheap bottle of wine.

Yesterday, Baby Girl woke up with a little blemish on her forehead and under her eye. By the end of the day, her face was covered, her ears inside and out, as well as her fingers. Poor baby has poison sumac. I've never had an outbreak of poison ivy, oak, or sumac. . . knock on wood. . . but I'm itching just looking at the girl. We took a trip to the doctor, endured a shot, and by this afternoon, she's better. And did I mention, she handled the shot perfectly. She's so tough unlike her mama. I don't handle shots at all, I pass out.

The other day Little Man and his Best Friend were in the kitchen waiting for the mac and cheese to be ready. As I handed my son a bowl, he says, "I have the best mama in the whole world." Now, normally, I'd be tickled pink but this was an awkward situation, one of several in the past couple of years. You see, Best Friend's Mama passed away two years ago. Back to the story, Best Friend then sadly replied, "I had the best mama." Little Man immediately says, "You mean, Before she died!" Ouch . . .This conversation is going bad to worse . . .What do I do? In these tense moments, I never know whether to try and say something in attempts to make things right, or to let it ride. This time, I chose to let it ride. Best Friend said, "Yes, before she died." Then Little Man said, "Hey, she can still be the best mama, she's just in heaven" and best friend cheerfully added, "And maybe (Dad's fiance) will be the best mama too." I mumble out in agreement, "uh huh" and sigh a big relief.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Where to Begin

Blogging after you haven't blogged in a while is really difficult. Where do you start? Do you wait for that one really funny, cute story to inspire you. . . I mean the story has got to be all that and a bag of chips. I guess, I'll just jump in head first and let the words fall where they may.

Our business was like a rollercoaster this year. The ride had a slow start as always. It gave me plenty of time to ponder the million and one ways we could fail. It continually picked up speed until I could barely keep up. Like mother like daughter, I'm terrible with delegating work. I mean, our business is mylife, my passion, and sometimes my escape, truth be known. I've tried to delegate jobs out, but no one cares as much as I do and a good enough job is never good enough for me. I don't know, it's a illness, I guess. Somehow, I made it to the end of the ride for this year and everything just stopped with the exception of some odds and ends. (inventory/paperwork) You're running 90 to nothing and then you're at a dead stop. Weeks before, I felt like I was running on fumes, I couldn't wait for this day. But now that it's here, it's harder than I expected. My mind is consumed with ways I could work this summer away. I don't think it's what I really want to do, I know it's not what hubby wants, but I can't stop feeling that I should be working. You know, it's crazy, why is slowing down so difficult?

To calm the beast, I've busied myself around the house. We had wood floors put in our dining room and down the hallway. They are beautiful and well worth the money. Last week, we found chairs that match our dining room table, they are also beautiful. Those chairs have been a long time coming, we actually found the table last summer and knew it was perfect for us. We've used folding chairs since last summer. The crazy thing is that I didn't even notice them... I know they stuck out like a sore thumb, but they really didn't bother me. Well, not until we had company. . our guests would always comment on the beautiful table and then I'd feel the need to make a joke or apologize for the chairs. Anyway, the chairs we found are absolutely a perfect match.

We are having a pool put in our backyard. We used to spend all summer at the lake, but in the past couple years, all of our friends have sold their boats and jet skis, including us. I'm not sure if it was gas prices or just loss of interest. Anyway, we chose a pool over a boat. A week ago, they came and dug the hole, put the sides of the pool up, and said see ya on Monday. That was Friday and it began raining on Saturday and didn't stop for a week straight. Looks like a bomb dropped right in our backyard. It kinda resembles the lake, the pool is full of muddy water. I was describing it to my friend who said, "Sounds like Poltergeist!" So now on top of stress of a destroyed back yard, I'm having nightmares of dead people, all I need is for baby girl to say, "They're here...." The sales guy promised we'd be swimming by Memorial Day, we'll see.

Little Man is wrapping up First Grade. I couldn't be prouder in some ways. I mean, look at how far we've come. But then I'm reminded of how far we have yet to go. . . sigh . . . The teacher says he's one of the brightest in her class but also the child most easily distracted. I float back and remember the first parent-teacher conference. . . her words were, he is a joy to have in class. Now, with two weeks left of school, he's making her eat those words. I've tried promises of rewards, threats of punishment, heck now it's about surviving each day by any means possible. Here's the question, Is little man really in the dark bound by his immaturity not able to see what everyone else sees or is he so smart that he's playing everyone like a fiddle with me at top of the list? That is the million dollar question.

Baby Girl is like sunshine until the dark clouds roll in. That girl has more confidance in her pinky finger than I do in my whole body but she also gives a new definition to the word bossy. She declares she is a princess and attempts to rule over her domain which includes mommy, daddy, brother, grandma, papa, and anyone else who might be around. She runs everywhere she goes and is as tough as nails rarely crying over skinned knees and such. I'm reminded of when she was a toddler. We were walking in a store and she was behind me calling mommy. I heard her but do not give her my attention at first, all the while her hand was stuck in a door. Her voice never waivered, she just kept calling for me. If it was me, I would have been yelling my head off. At the old house, she was at the barn with daddy. Again, she was a toddler. Daddy was burning brush when baby girl walked up to him, held out her arm, and said I have a boo, boo. She had a piece of wood bigger than a toothpick buried in her wrist. She did not shed one tear, not even when he was digging it out. I'm telling you, this girl is tough.

My parents are moving back home. They'll be living right down the road, I couldn't be happier. It's been really hard for me since they moved away, thank God for cell phones or I would have never made it.

That kinda sums up the past few weeks, I could go on but it's 5:00 and time to start thinking of dinner.

Monday, January 22, 2007

When I grow up....

A couple of weeks ago at the dinner table, Little Man said, "Mom, when I grow up, I want to be the President of the United States." Not to be out done, Baby Girl said, "When I grow up, I'm going to be Santa Claus." Aren't they the cutest!?!?!