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Saturday, August 30, 2008

She's So Cute

Coming home from St. Louis last Friday night, I stopped by a friends house to pick up her daughter for a sleepover. She was sitting on the front porch with her mama packed and ready to go. She gets in the car as I talk to her mom for just a few minutes. She starts humming, a subtle "okay, anyday now tune. . ." Taking the hint, I give my friend a hug, get in the car, and head home.

It's about a 15 minute drive to the house so I struck up a conversation with Blondie. So, "Are you ready to go" as I back out of the driveway. Her reply with attitude was "YES, I AM!" Smiling I asked, "How was your day at school" she began talking and didn't stop until we pulled in the driveway.

I should take this girl with me to St. Louis. She's so entertaining! Jumping subject to subject all the way home, she had me cracking up.

She said school was great, her teacher is Mrs. McCreedy. Switching gears she let me know she packed her own bag for the sleepover. She said she had her favorite toy. . . 2 of them, a glidescope. I asked, "A Glidescope, what's that?" She said, you know you look through it and see beautiful shapes and colors as you turn it. She went on and said she had her pj's, a webkinz, a new toothbrush, and her notebooks. Then she started describing all the pictures in her notebook. In describing 1 pic, she said, "This is a picture of me with a brain and here's a picture of me with long hair." I ask, "No brain?" Her reply, "Nope, . . . just long hair."

She said she had a purse that she got on her date with daddy. They went to an expensive restaurant for ravioli's but not the kind she likes. She kept talking and before I knew it, we pulled in the driveway.

Later that night, Daddy and I had to get on Baby Girl. Not sure if she was just tired or what, but she was really fussy and whiny acting. As I walked back into Baby Girl's room, I told Blondie, "Sorry to leave you in here by yourself. We had to talk to Baby Girl, does your Mommy and Daddy ever have to do that?" She said, "Not at night." I smiled and said, "You must be perfect." She said, "Yes, well almost." Chuckling as Baby Girl walks into the room, I ask if they were ready for bed. They both said, "NO!" Blondie said she wants to stay up and party all night and then sleep all day in the pool.

They went to sleep at midnight and were up by 7. This girl, she's cute as a button with her bright blond hair, big attitude, and non-stopping confidence.

Saturday, her big brother and little sister joined us for a few hours. That made a total of 6 kids (mine, hers, and Little Man's Best Friend) and I'm happy to report. . . I did not lose my mind. They were actually really good.

Big Brother was really sweet in the pool watching out for his two little sisters. Little Sister is all things baby even though she's 3. She's tiny, talks baby talk, and has the sweetest smile ever. She kept telling me she wanted her "Shoes." I brought them to her but Big Sis finally interpreted, "She wants juice." When Little Sister had to go to the bathroom, I lifted her onto the toilet seat and just about threw her through the roof. When I lift Baby Girl, I really have to put some umph into it. This little girl weighs nothing.

It was a great Friday Sleepover and Saturday Play Date!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Clean Colon

Have to make this really quick.

Doctor said that tumor is gone and no cancer detected in the colon. Praise God!

Suspicious areas light up on a PET Scan. There's nothing lit up down under. There were a few lymph nodes lit up in her chest. He says the PET Scan pics itself were not great. The lit up areas probably is nothing, maybe inflammation from a cold (she hasn't been sick though).

The gastro doc yesterday scheduled another scope just to make sure colon is good. The onc. doc today scheduled another PET Scan in 6 weeks to check out areas that lit up and just another overall look.

She's upset. She wanted a 100% clean bill of health.

I believe she is cancer-free. Please pray that she believes too.

Monday, August 25, 2008

No Tumors Today!

Mom went to the gastro doctor today. He was the doc that did the colonoscopy and found the tumor back in April. He checked her out and said that he did NOT feel a tumor! (WHAHOO!!!)

She weighed in at 109 pds today. We've spent the past couple of months trying to answer the following questions. Why is she so nauseous, sick and tired? Is it physical, mental, emotional. . . . is she depressed, does she have a fear of food, a fear of medicine. . . why can't she eat, why is her stomach so messed up, when will the diarrhea stop, will life ever be like before? . . . just to name a few.

She talked to the doctor about all the above issues. He wasn't surprised at all, he said that it's all just part of it. He went on to say that she'll figure out how to eat, when to eat, what to eat and I guess slowly but surely it'll get better.

Thank God for Good News Today! We're all ready for more tomorrow!

A few weeks ago I was talking to a good friend from Memphis, Shoot, it was more like complaining to her. Life post chemo and radiation was not as I planned. In fact, it's been totally opposite, a real downer. During treatment, she needed me for everything. I knew exactly what to do. We had a routine, even when things were really bad, I could figure it out. To save my life, I can't figure this out and I don't know what to do? My friend told me to be patient and stand in the gap for mom. On the spiritual and patient side of things, I'm not so good. Not sure exactly why that's the case. It's hard not to fall apart at church, in the car, whenever, wherever. It's all so overwhelming and just flat out hurts. I was telling another friend who told me to pray that what could I say to God that He doesn't already know? I want my mom to get better. . . I don't understand why it happened in the first place. . . You know how much I love her. . . Is it a matter of faith, a lesson to be learned, a test of the emergency broadcast system. . . Yes, I'm a little angry and He knows, He knows all of it so what's the point of letting it out. It just brings tears, snot, and still no answers. She said, "Yes, He does know but the reason for praying aloud is not for Him but for me." Makes sense and so I'm working on that.

So where I couldn't and still can't be there spiritually for her, thank you all for taking up the slack. Below is an email Mom sent to a friend. I loved his response which was in big, bold, blue and red text. I tried to copy it to my blog but the color, font and such didn't transfer.

Went to one dr & he said he no longer felt the tumor. Just need to get a good PET scan result tomorrow from the oncologist. Have lost 20 lbs - down to 110. Wouldn't recommend this diet plan to any one. Still having trouble eating. The whole digestion thing is strange to my body. Will be glad when that passes too. Hope all is well with you both. Carol

HALLELUJAH! PRAISE THE LIVING GOD WHO FORGIVES OUR INIQUITIES AND HEALS ALL OUR DISEASES. HE MAKES AN UTTER END OF IT AND IT SHALL NOT RETURN.I speak forth rapid healing and restoration from all the evil side effects. I say NO MORE tumors in your body!KEEP THE FAITH! David

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

PET Scan

Mom has a PET Scan this morning at 9:15. We won't know anything until her doc. appt. on August 26th. The wait stinks. Please pray for a clean bill of health and peace as we wait.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Summer's Gone

It's back to school and work tomorrow. Baby Girl is so excited. She put much thought into her new backpack, lunchbox, and even clothes for the first 2 days of school. I found the cutest dress with matching stockings at Target (I love that store!) and amazingly was able to sway her into choosing the dress over the Hanna Montana T-Shirts. Hubby and I steered away from all things Bratz, even when Little Girl was tempted by her friend down the street. We've bypassed all princess shirts or the big attitude ones like "It's All About Me" and such. Hubby was already to do the same with Hanna Montana but I just couldn't. I've never seen her Disney show or listened to her songs, but the clothes are cute. It's been fun shopping with Little Girl for all things Hanna Montana.

Little Man dreads going back to school. He wants to protest the school, state, Washington, anyone about the corrupt system making summers shorter and shorter each year. He spent all night discussing this travesty. He did get a little excited about his new tennis shoes(Hi-Top Converse like what I wore in the early 80's) , but besides that he's pretty much bummed. Like me, he struggles with change. He's a creature of habit and rarely likes any break from routine. Last night he woke up a couple times feeling nauseous.

Me, I'm pretty much like Little Man, not ready to let summer go. Several of my friends are passed ready for their kids to head back to school, not me I don't want them to go. As if the kids first day of school is not enough, tomorrow I have to drive 6 hours to attend 7 school functions. Even with help, it will be a miracle if I'm able to pull it off. So, I'm just overall stressed, depressed, and all-around bummed.

Mom has more bad days than good. She isn't eating and although the scale doesn't show she's loss more weight (I checked it out myself), she looks tiny. She's nauseous all the time. She uses a suppository (can't think of the name of it but it's not much more than a strong antihistamine). It totally takes away the nausea but it also totally knocks her out. So, basically she's drugged in the bed or up, sober, and sick. Her next PET Scan is August 19th. She'll meet with the doctor on August 26th. Doesn't that stink? We'll once again be left to sit, wonder, and wait for the news. GRRRRRRRR. The system we're stuck in totally sucks!

Mom and I went walking the other day. I meant for us to just walk a little ways down the street and back but we started walking and talking and before you knew, we had covered the whole neighborhood. When we made it back to the house, Dad gave me that look like you knew better. He's right, we walked too much but it was so much fun. I miss our walks and talks. While we were walking, we talked about pretty much everything. All that she'd been through. All that I'd been through. She said that she has no idea how she ever made it through, then the subject turned to the upcoming tests. She said, "Whatever the tests show, I'm not up for any more!" We both fell silent as those words soaked in . . . Worse case scenario, those are pretty tough words, but they are words I completely understand. I was there too! Whatever the case, God's got her and she will be made beautifully whole. Although I lost sight of it for a while, consumed with the Why, I do trust Him completely! No one loves her the way He does (I'll fight for second) and so she's going to be just fine.

The past few weeks we've gone out of town, had family come to visit, and basically tried to cram as much summer as possible into the month of July. I'm sorry for not posting much.