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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

When I was 18

Below is an email I received a few days ago. It brought back so many great memories.

When I was 18 yrs old, my goal was to eliminate all prejudice and racism starting in Jackson, Tn and then in the world. I attended a COGIC church (Church of God in Christ), one of the largest black Christian denominations in the world. With me attending, the church was integrated and that was a start towards my colorblind world. (I really thought I was something, huh)

Anyway, I got involved in the youth program and attempted to really impact their lives. Truth is, they impacted my life more than I ever impacted their lives.

We put on a play at the church. The play was "Down by the Creek Bank" written by Dottie Rambo. It was a play my brother and I did at the old Pentecostal church we attended as kids. It's about as country as you can get. Before my kids, I considered those kids and that play my biggest accomplishment.

We had a gazillion play practices leading up to the big night. After practice, I would load as many kids as I could (12 plus) inside my car. When seats were full with bodies, I 'd open my hatchback and pile more in. I'd take them home. Many lived in a project, one considered the worst in Jackson. There was only one street in and out, it would make a big loop, one way. I might be scared now thinking of the area, insurance, kids not in seat belts and more, but it didn't phase me then.

While I loved them all, one particular little girl stole my heart. She was incredibly cute but even more than that had the biggest personality I'd ever seen. I brought her home with me to Tulsa for a couple of weeks. She said that when she grew up she was going to go to Oral Roberts University. We took her to Lake Keystone, just had so much fun with her. I remember sitting on my bed with her and my mom looking at her hair after a day spent on the lake. She was passing out from a day of fun in the sun as Mom and I tried to brush her hair. She looked like Buckwheat by the time we gave up and called a friend to help.

I often thought about her through the years. I can't tell you how excited I am that she and her family are doing so well. Check out the email below.

Hi Pastor and First Lady,

I hope this email finds you and the family in good health and basking in the joy of the lord. I hope you remember me. I had a chance to write you a while back saying hello. I was looking on the COGIC website and I thought of you and First Lady Porter. I remember all the times my family would come over and fellowship with you all. I just wanted to give you an update on myself and family since we haven't had a chance to come visit; however I do hope to come visit soon.

I graduated May 10, 2008 with a Bachelors of Science Degree in Information Systems with a concentration in Systems Development and Analysis. I currently work for AT&T as a Project Manager in IL (Northwest Suburb of Chicago).

You know I was a little girl when we moved away from Jackson and I'm now 21. It's been a great year for me but also one of my most difficult ones because I'm really growing up. I graduated, started a career, moved into an apartment, and purchased a car. I've been making adult decisions and learning to trust God. I was very scared and nervous about working in a Corporate environment and being in the 'Real World' but God has comforted me so much and is helping me though the process. I really miss being at home but it shows that I'm really maturing and developing into a beautiful Woman of God.

I plan on attending graduate school next fall to earn a MBA and eventually I want to start a nonprofit organization on the Southside of Chicago. My ultimate goal and passion in life is to help people and work for the ministry. So, now I've been saving and networking with different people so I can really do the outreach that I love to do.

My mother is doing great. She's working hard as always and still involved in the church. She's our Sunday School Superintendent. My sisters are growing up as well. This year my mother will have a 22 year old, 19 yr old, and 17 yr old. We all attend the same church, so I get to see them on weekends.

My sister is a sophomore in college majoring in Pre-Vet and the baby is a junior in High School. She really enjoys singing. Well, I wanted to stay in touch with you and First Lady and hopefully we will get to visit soon. I love you all and I will continue to pray for you all as well. A big hug from me to you all!

LIttle Man

Little Man always says things clear out of left field. I'm sure he gets it from me, but it's weird being on the receiving end of it.

Sometimes it's good. After listening to me sing a song he has said, "Mom, you should go on American Idol!"

Sometimes, it's bad. This weekend he asked, "Mom, a long time ago when you were young, did you have a skinny waist?"


Thursday, September 04, 2008

On the Colon Club

After Mom's appt last week, I posted on the Colon Club. I just love Bradyr and Belle, they always respond to my posts. I'm so glad they were there, then and now.

by momsCancer on Thu Aug 28, 2008 2:55 am
it's really been a while since I've checked in here. Mom's healing up from treatment and I've jumped back into my family, job, and life. She had a PET Scan and we met with the doctor on Tues. He showed us the before and after pics. You could really see the tumor from the pics in April and then absolutely nothing lit up from the last scans. YIPPEE! She's going to have a scope done in a couple of weeks just for a closer look. But PET Scan of colon look good!!! So, as terrible as the treatment was (terrible's not even a strong enough word), looks like it totally did it's thing!We could tell the doctor had a scans look good . . .BUT coming. Sure enough, the doctor said that a couple of lymph nodes in Mom's chest were lit up. He said that it could be anything inflammation from a cold (she's not noticed being sick but who knows). He doesn't think it's the cancer. He said that's a long jump from the colonrectal to the chest. It wouldn't make sense for it to be the cancer, since when does cancer make sense? So another 6 week wait for another PET Scan then 2 more weeks to see the doctor, basically won't know anything for 2 months. I almost wish he would not have said anything about the lit up lymph nodes in her chest. She left the doctor's office in tears. She wanted it to be done, no more tests, no more cancer, no more doc appts, etc... I followed her to her house and stayed with her as she cried until I could talk her into going for icecream, (my cure-all drug). She's still nauseous 24/7. The only thing that works is a suppository that knocks her out. When she wakes up, she's not nauseous for a little while. She's so tired of being sick. Fatigue is still a problem. She eats very little and then pays for it a day or two later. So, it's like she eats (like a bird ) 1 day and then pays for it in diarrhea and nausia and doesn't eat for 2 days following. She's lost alot of weight. The diarrhea is a problem. Just Monday at work, she didn't make it to the bathroom and it went through her clothes. Wow! I had dreams Monday night of coming here and posting she's dancing with NED and maybe she is, guess we won't know 100 percent for a few more weeks.
MOM has Stage 2 Anal Cancer on chemo (5-FU and Mitomycin-C) for 6 weeks. Looking to vent and give/receive support. My blog address is;www.onecrazeemommy.blogspot.comI should change the name to one crazee daughter, I think.

Posts: 45
Joined: Tue May 27, 2008 12:53 am

Re: Hello
by NWgirl on Thu Aug 28, 2008 5:18 pm
Thank you for the update. I have been wondering about her and how you are both doing. I wish she was doing better - but I'm glad there has been at least some improvement. Hang in there. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.
BelleDX 10/07 Stage III Colorectal CancerSurgery 11/17/0727 of 38 nodes affected10 rounds of FOLFOX; 2 rounds of Xeloda30 radiation treatments with 5FU pump 24/744 Years Old - NED!!!!!

Posts: 634
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2008 4:24 am
Location: Battle Ground, Washington

Re: Hello
by bradyr on Thu Aug 28, 2008 5:31 pm
don't lose hope. It's very likely that the doctor is right... that this isn't cancer at all. I've had little thinks like this light up before, they disapeared next scan. but, part of the bad of this illness is the uncertainty. It's very hard to live with, but that's what you have. The good news is that the response has been excellent. Worse case, there is no reason that these additional problems couldn't be taken care of, but you don't have worry about any additional treatments for at least two months.but as well as she responded, it sounds like the doctor feels good taht this nothing. He had to tell you because he has to disclose everything) but he was confient to tell you he didn't think it was cancer. A lot of times if the doctor has doubt he won't say that - just that we have to wait and see.so, I have a good feeling about this - I say screw the possible problem - go ahead and declare yourself done with this and - let tommorow (or in this case two months from now take care of itself in due time). but until then, put this out of your head and just celebrate beating this cancer.
bradyrDX Stage IV 2/07 mets liver/bone/brain/spleencolon resection 3wks radiation for bone metsfolfox4 + Avastin 6m/Xeloda for 4mGamma Knife brain lesion 1/08Now on FolFiri 12 of 15CEA 11 down from 49 2wks agoSIRT Spheres r-lobe 7/24 l-lobe 8/19

Posts: 852
Joined: Mon Apr 30, 2007 8:19 pm
Location: Redmond, Wa

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Mom Hit the Mall

Mom's getting better and better. This past weekend, she went shopping and bought new clothes. Sunday, I swung by the house to check out her new duds. I'm going to borrow her new suit, if I can squeeze into it.

She still has rotten days, bathroom issues occasionally, and pretty persistent nausea but in Dad's words, "She's turn the corner." Thank you, God.

I cleaned out my purse today. Way past due. I found a blog I'd written at a doctor's appt a while ago. It goes like this;

In talking to a friend, I realized. . . it's not the Cancer. It's the loss of control. I really couldn't see it before. What is my deal? I really need to get a grip!

I thought I was stronger than this, much more capable. This might be extremely naive, but I honestly lived almost 37 years thinking that life makes since. You know, good things happen to good people. . . the early bird gets the worm. . . if you think you can, you can. . .and so on. . .

The realization that, that's not always true has me in pieces.

I know, pretty pathetic, huh. Not sure why I decided to post it now, but there it is.

I'm in St. Louis, hubby is driving back from Kansas City, and the kids are with Grandma and Paw Paw. I miss them.